Hellooooooooooooooo

A very long hello from me. Wishing everyone is in the pink of health. 

Lots of time to kill before i start working in a new place, this time i work in my field. A field that i know and proven i'm good at ;). It took me 8 months to realize. Yes, despite all the humble achievements i accomplished. I have a good real life experiences from my previous company that gave me 50126866 hard slaps on my face over and over again to realize i need to do some bad decisions in order to find what's good for me. So what if you didnt like what you thought was fun at the first place? 

Accept whatever shits that happen, take the lesson, leave behind all the excess baggage, create a new path and move on.

Macam senang kan, I am still stucked at the excess baggage, cant seem to forget shits easily. heh :p. 

So, should you ask me what did i do throughout the longggg hiatus? Taking risk and handling it like a boss. 

Ok, that's a little heavy for an introduction.

On a lighter note, i have a new cat, Tom. I would like to add another pet and name it, Jerry tapi big boss tidak bagi. 

he is that dramatic

I've been to places i've never been to. Bali in May. Damai Puri in June. Sematan palm beach in July. Sebuyau in Sept. Never heard the 3 last places? itu lah kamu, belum lagi kasi habis tempat sendiri sudah mau pigi Italy. heh tiba-tiba.

 

Bali

Damai Puri.

(Sematan & Sebuyau no pics in PC. Friends in fb should've seen the pics)

To sum it all, my life is well balanced. I have my good days and bad days. And you wont see me writing all over the net, the bad one i mean.

I meant to share this one nice quote in blog since i shared this once in my FB.

Be bold. take risk. 

Till then!

Easy sunday

sets of fujifilm instax mini 7s and my pwink hobo bag. the glue is there for size reference.

Just so you know, the pink bubblegum hobo bag is purchased from Sheila. I used that often to the office, regardless of whatever color of clothes i wear. Functionality my friend, is the key :D

So, i've finished a box film which consists of 10 sheets of polariod films. Biasa lah,kesakaian yang maksimum katakan.

among the selected

That is one easy way to personalized a home yes? Looking forward to fill up the black spaces with memories. My rose blooms for the 2nd time in 2012 punya gambar ada, our first kitchen rack for temporary storage pun ada, gambar kucing oren yg suka  limpas2 rumah kami lagi belum ada (??)

Hope y'all enjoy your weekend! Happy resting :D

To mark today.

 As what i have wrote here

source: uncle google

I

will

start

working

tomorrow.

I've bought the instax mini! Yes you read that right, after so many times of contemplation. This time is for better purpose, just to remind me how far i've come to hence the purchase just a day before i start my 3rd job. And that last night,i dream about it -_-"

You might think why such thought need to be embody in a camera form? or any physical form?

Well, manusia mudah lupa. As easy as that. If we need a thing to see/ to touch to remind us good thought every day, then why not?

***

I remember in 2008, when i started my first job as a project engineer. I spent few hundreds from my first salary to buy a handbag. a Sembonia handbag. I remember it was on discount, and i got a Parkson voucher from the purchase. At that time i need a handbag for work so it wasn't a thoughtful purchase. In fact,i gave it to my sister after i quit my job in mid 2009. However i must say, the 'powerfulness' i obtained upon buying using my own hard earned money is surreal. I like that feeling. So i keep on spending my salary like a boss haha.

It last for few months until i decided to buy a car, using my own money. What hurts me the most was when some people claimed my working BF, now husband paid for the car. I feel like punching their jealous face sampai hancur berkecai tebaboom. Why should you be jealous of others? Tidak boleh ka perempuan yang baru 3 bulan kerja beli kereta? mesti ka lelaki yang pigi kasi fund baru bole beli kereta? ada kah kau sudah gila kerana kejelesan kau sendiri? tumbuk kau sana. Ok please ignore the last part, nonetheless, be careful with ppl with a heart full of jealousy. They can create stories better than in Titanic or Ombak rindu(??)

Fast forward, i started my postgrad studies while working as a research asst to my supervisor. I get better pay than working as a project engr. You read that right. I paid my study fee using my salary. Then i applied for scholarship and i succeed in the application but the setback was i have to let go my job. The choice is done. My study fee that i've paid beforehand is returned to me, plus monthly allowances for 6 months paid in total, which makes me 5-figured richer. Life is good weeeeee :). So that is how i manage to pay my car's loan, prepare stuff for my wedding reception and whatnots during my postgrad studies. Again, i confronted with jealousy ppl, saying that my then BF, now husband funded my study. It's getting more degrading, and i took it personally as if i only know how to spend his money. that was so fucking distracting. So distracting i refuse to let him pay for meals. Until i realize, kenapa la juga saya patut buat begitu, itu la bah yg dia mau tgk tu. Sungguh budu dan cencaluk saya rasa. So I found a better quote to confront this ppl,

'Dont wrestle with a pig, you get dirty but the pig likes it"

Often times, the problem does not originate from you but from the jelesi people themselves yg tidak tau bersyukur.

***

So that's part and parcel of how far i've come to. From my first job, from my first car, from dealing with jelesi ppl. The rest of it you can read by browsing my archive, September 2008- Dec 2011. There might be some of the 'related' stories i wrote, although often times, i tend to just keep it offline. I'll try to post things similar to this from time to time, coz i believe i had an interesting life sampai org pigi jeles2 hahaha.

Ok that's all! :D

Brought from the past

A repost from my old entries here

 ****

" If Man was created in God’s image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly? Each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. And it is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people, relationships and GOD.  

When someone holds a grudge against you it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. 

When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is the most difficult and courageous thing Man can do.  

When someone mocks you it teaches you that no two people are alike. 

When you encounter people who are different from you, don’t judge them by how they look or act; instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart. 

When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate that you have, for you never know when you might lose it. And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is the only guarantee you have.

When someone breaks your heart it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that person will love you back. But don’t turn your back on love because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings will make up for all the past hurts put together.  

When someone lies to you it teaches you that things are not always as they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove your own masks to let people know yours.

When a loved one is unfaithful to you it teaches you that resisting temptation is Man’s greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptation. By doing so you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.

When someone ridicules you it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.

For every good deed, there is one less evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused. " 

**

and i used to get  funny comments, where have they gone? haha :D

WWFriday

Enjoying my free time yeehuu! :D

Hey y'all

3 Dec 2011- KK

17 Dec 2011- Sarikei

These 2 events marks the closure of my 2011. I still have no drive to write actively in this blog, it's no surprise that my number of posts are getting less year by year :D

So yeah,till next post when i have the drive again :p

Take care!

After 3.12.2011

Wedding reception for KK side is done, now left with Sarikei side. And the venue is atttttttt *drum rolls* 

long house!

It's going to be an occasion with lots of tuaks and beer, karaoke frenzy, poco poco and whatnots. I can only imagine ha ha ha ha.

I havent got any pictures from my kk side wedding reception, actually i had few but hubbeh brought his camera back to Kuching (kch).  Speaking of which, i'm going to fly off kk to kch this afternoon, this one's for good. Of course the sadness is there but, i am still here in KK because my husband let me to pursue what i've started while he stays alone in Kch. Sedih ok stay sendiri2 tiada wife dirumah urus itu ini.

So hubbeh, i'm kambing homeeeeee. Ambil gue di airport nanti yaaaahhh.

About my reception in KK, I'm glad i get many positive feedback from most of my guests. Food wise, overall said good, entertainment tidak payah cakap la haha. Macam penyanyi2 bah yg datang pigi reception saya tu heee :), one of 'em is Juend. Emcee performed great, you know what he did? two of my friends were singing Celine Dion's 'because you loved me'. If you know the song well, there's one distinct high note before last chorus.

You know what happened when my friends reached that note?

My emcee mute the volume, left only my friends voice yg bertariak. hahaha. Nasib nafas dorang panjang boleh sustained the high note. That's sooo funny sampai terstop sekijap conversation saya dgn rakan rakan ok. With that,i never listen to that song the same way again. So fani.

Of course there were things that didn't went as planned. I never expect 2 of my tables were unoccupied, coz i am very certain the guests sitting in that table have confirmed their attendance. What hurt me the most was that, they dont even bother to inform either to me or my husband for not showing up. I remember i invited all friends and families, bukan orang yang baru kenal kami 2-3 hari. Uh i'm so emo about this. A friend trying to console us, dia bilang 'itu bukan kawan lah tu kalau begitu'. I'd like to believe so.

I know this kind of situation is expected to happen in every wedding, but i cant accept it despite my awesome reception. So friends, respond accordingly to any wedding reception u're about to attend.

Tidak dapat datang, cakap saja tidak.

Maybe attending, cakap saja maybe tapi kasi confirm

Dapat datang, cakap datang and confirmed. kalau tidak datang juga, inform somebody. If u have last minute situation to face that refrain you from coming, we would understand but at least, inform us. Dont make us feel that we are inviting outsiders who didnt bother about the wedding at all. 

I'm getting more emo, should've stop now.

And by the way, the foods for the 2 unoccupied tables were already cooked, i have to distributed the foods to my guests who stayed till the end of the event. Most of my families went home early, they were driving back to Ranau that night juga ok -_-".

Since i dont have any pictures to share, i'll let you see the pics from Beverly, the makeup artist for my special day. here's the facebook page MuaH KK

Courtesy of MuaH KK

Courtesy of MuaH KK

Ok, that's all to share for now.  More picah coming soon! yiheeee.

9 days!

I went to JBridal for gown testing today. I gain extra weight here and there but ok lah, muat juga...waktu berdiri lah haha..waktu duduk main tahan2 nafas seja la auummm.

One of the gown i opt for :)

That was one of my pre wedding pictures. I wore it during sunset shot, the gown is glowing dibawah sinaran matahari sunset. I am the first one to wear it coz ramai yang tidak muat in it since the gown is using a zipper instead of the typical lace up corset. 

Another gown i shall reveal after the reception oukay? :D

What else? Oh i've selected my bouquet juga. pinkish gerbera and purple rose. Nice yes? I shall plant si gerbera at home in future. harap2 tumbuh la coz i like them soooo veryyyyyy much.

Somemore..i've been wanting to write about this since last week. One important advice to share with future brides among the readers. Please please please be careful upon selecting your wedding vendor, be it your decorator pelamin ka, caterer ka, tukang buat kek ka, tukang pasang canopy ka, everything. Pigi lah read testimonial about their service. Fb works most of the time. Bukan terus pigi klik 'photo' utk tgk previous work dorang coz it might be bogus, manatau kopipasta dari internet.

I've read a post shared by my friend about penipu punya wedding planner in kk. I dont want to type the detail in here, it's not the nature of this blog (hahaha). For more info,my fb friends can find the post in my wall coz i shared it as well. Cerita cerita yang tidak bagus pasal wedding ni bukan utk kasi aib siapa siapa, anggap saja sebagai pengajaran utk kita to be extra cautious. I dont enjoy reading the details, i cant even imagine the horror.

After you hv read the post, i guess you'll know what to do. Not that you have obligation of doing something but, you know what i mean lah.

Ok lah, i think that's all to share. Other stuffs shall be reveal after 9 days ok. Banyak lagi kerja mau buat, malar lagi menaip2 disini haha.

Take care y'all! :)

Coming towards 3dec

I had an alarming dream about my wedding reception.

In that dream my decorator came to decorate the hall during the reception bah. Pukul 8pm ok.. Orang makan2 dia sibuk taruk2 bunga. Baru bukan kaler bunga yg saya mau lagi tu. Saya pula penuh dgn kekecewaan berteriak 'kasi balik duit aku penipu'. Garang or not? Dalam mimpi seja lah begitu haha.

Then, i did my own makeup. lepas touchup baru sedar yang 'eh si Beverly ba yg patut buat ni,suda bayar pun'. Aduhai.

Bila bangun pagi, the first thing i did was go thru my guests list. We are aiming at least 200 guests to attend, tapi tgk list, 150 org pun tidak sampai. You know why?

- It's coming towards the wedding month. Berapa banyak invitation sd kamu dapat utk december wedding seja? Aduhai.

- Most of my friends who are about the same age as me are tying knot end of this year as well, so ramai decline. Not only my friends, but my cousin is getting married 5 days after my reception.

Well, all of these are part and parcel of organizing an event like this yes? Cool seja bah sy. Bikin stressful lagi fikir mo packing stuffs then pindah ke Kuching. Tidak tau mana satu mau pack dulu. Kereta tu tahun depan baru kasi pindah pg Kch. I was thinking of suru adik sambung byr loan tu kereta but see how la.

Ok lah the ramblings shall stop now.

Till then.

Word-less Wed

Biarpun masih kicik but i've showered the pokok with unconditional love,pernah jadi coklat 1 bulan ini pokok sebab tidak kena siram -_-".

On top of that, it deserve to be prettified sebab that's a living Xmas tree afterall yes?

Writing mode

My thesis-writing setting.

facing the wide Sg. Batang Rajang. Halo Sibu.

When i'm on my quick neck stretch, i just flip the curtain and enjoy the view

Not the typical sea view punya view (??) nonetheless, it's good to have this kind of setting when you're doing a task that requires 110% of your focus. My 2 long years work depends strongly on this thesis. You see, one can do enormous kinds of work but at the end of the day, all the hard work boils down to one single paper/report that defines it. So kalau bos bilang 'buat balik ini report/thesis', means whatever you wrote is not convincing enough. So if you cant convince them, confuse them (??)

The most difficult thing in writing this so far is to organize every facts in my head and type it down accordingly.

I've tried to organize the facts by drafting it in my book,but once i started typing, all the planned flow is changing. I've tried typing sub topic by sub topic but when i joined them to make a 'story', i still have to change here and there coz they appear individually rather than a continuation of something. Last2, i delete everything and write from scratch coz apa yang suda ada bikin bingung seja. Anyway, chapter outline is the first, must-thing to do. It focuses your mind to write accordingly. 

And a good place to write complements everything. I'm not implying the message of having to stay in hebat2 place just to write anything nice, it just complements the right state of mind that u're in.

Ok lah, that's all. Pening pula sy tgk tulisan panjang2 disini.

Word-less wed

Heeeeeeee :D


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I view it differently

Upon reading Just post about this, it brings back memories of almost 13 years ago. Most of my friends know the fact that my mom had passed away due to cancer,and despite me writing down few posts in my blog about her, only few know the story behind it.

My late mom is a nurse, and even a nurse herself, she found out about the 50sen size of lump on her left breast quite late. She was 40. During that moment we were still in Lahad Datu, so mom and dad had to traveled to Tawau, the nearest hospital with such facilities for treatment. She went to operation and removed her whole left breast. When she returned home, she was never the same person anymore. I was 13-14, it was painful to not be able to do anything.

Fast forward, after the operation and months of healing process, i can see that she regained her old self back. She had moved on with life, even start working again. Everything is good. Until a year later.

She went for post review after the operation, and Dr. mentioned her cancerous cell were spreading. She played it cool this time, she went for chemo treatments. I saw the physical changes of her after chemo, but as far as i can recall, she never complained. How difficult it must be for her to stay positive despite the pain that she faced, and to see us everyday, knowing it might be her last day with us. Anyway, i am glad she did that, coz it has left a profound impact on myself, especially at times of trial. She chose to stay optimistic and never give up.

She passed away peacefully on June 2001 at the age of 43. Only that time i know about how severe her cancer was. It was already spreading to the liver. I took me a week after her passing to say 'I am glad God ended her suffering', i believe in God's way although i seldom go to church.

The cancer had damaged my mom's body but never her strength. And that is the greatest legacy that she left us with. That attitude had shaped me to become who i am today.

Besides, i had a new perspective of death. I read a book about the prisoners during Pol Pot's era, they viewed death as 'a privilege' coz they rather be dead than be perpetually tortured. Similarly in a way, I believe God loves her more, so He took her to heaven and end her sufferings. While i was browsing the old album at home, i saw her funeral pictures and the image of her lifeless body in the coffin. I cant shed a tear anymore, i am just thankful it happened.

My late mom during her life, is a strong fighter, optimistic and always put her children first. Ma, although your time is short, you've taught us enough. You are always in our mind in everything we do.

*commenting is disabled.

Overdue post

As mentioned in my last post, i attended a conference in USM engineering campus in Nibong Tebal, Penang as a paper presenter. I arrived in Bayan Lepas International airport a day earlier from the conference date, fetched by the conference' secretariate, and headed straight to Nibong Tebal. The journey took about 1 hour coz it was a peak hour which cause congestion especially at the Penang bridge. Despite that, we managed to take pictures on the bridge itself yihuuu.

Throughout the conference, the participants stayed in the postgrad hostels located outside the campus, if i get it right, Desasiswa is the name. I loveeee the hostel, we have bathroom inside our room (not the sharing type oukay), there's a lif (hahaha) up to level 7 (my room is at level 6), and most importantly we have the view of jalan raya with mat rempit merempit every weekend starting friday night. Now i can officially declared i have witness the real scene of mat rempit doing superman pose on their bike and yang satu orang tu lagi berdiri di belakang -_-". What a scene. kalau ada polis lagi siok (??)

My presentation was scheduled at the last session, as expected not many audiences but the secretariats, the other presenters and the chairperson himself. I was expecting less question as well, but boy how wrong i was. My chair person is a man of curiosity. I ended my presentation answering no less than 5 questions. Anyway, i enjoyed the session. This is way different from my past experiences presenting in exhibitions, in competitions coz the chairperson is always an academician, they (most of the time) asked the right question, the kind of question that you always doubt in conducting your research. Boleh bikin gagap oh dengar soalan begitu.

Apart from that, i received so many funny responses from the international participants. A friend from HK asked me why i do not wear a hijab, he even asked the male driver 'how many wives you have' -_-", some thought i look like pan asian -_-", my Nigerian friends complimenting my english coz i dont have the kind of slang that i cant really explain how but i know how it sound, which makes me happy hahaha. Some people dont know where is Sabah but they know where Borneo is -_-". Some Sjung friends thought 'bulih bah kalau kau' sounds like 'bulih ba kalakaw' HAHAHAHA..aduhaiiii how can i not love this conference.

Anyway, enjoy the piccies.

After the closing ceremony which is on Sat, a day after i went to the island coz I think it's bad idea to stay in the mainland when you have a morning flight to catch tmrw. I dont wanna risk to be stuck at the bridge, hari isnin lagi tu. So i stayed a night in Tune hotel and since the check in time is 2pm, i had time to jalan2 walaupun mengantuk.

IMHO, Tune hotel is at the best of location. I traveled alone and enjoyed it, i even went to Prangin Mall, Komtar, and i accidentally found the 'best cendol in Penang' while i was on my way to buy the buah Salak and buah pala (nutmeg) pickles (situated along the Penang road heading to Georgetown). All places are so near to each other.

A is where Tune hotel is situated, B is Prangin Mall and the one in circle is the pedestrian crossing bridge. You dont have to cross the road at all. Along the way to Prangin mall is Komtar Walk. Banyak juga shops sana. Ada wifi lagi tu, sempat sy check-in heh :p.

The Best Penang cendol is the stall on the right. Semua makan di tepi jalan dkt longkang termasuk saya la ba juga.

Pun femes juga sebab pernah masuk dalam nwpaper. ttuuuu nnaaa dia lekat.

All in all, this trip is a memorable one for me, not only because i traveled alone to a new, foreign place which elevates my confidence to another higher level but i make friends with interesting people as well. I shall not forget their remarks about me hahaha. Moreover, i discovered so much thing about myself and people around me. Now i can say i have truly understand the meaning of 'jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan' rather than typing it per se in this post.

Till then.

Oh polyvore

Still cant get over it hahaha.

Since i am going to present my research paper in an international conference held in USM this sat, this is basically what i'm going to wear. Ini lah ni sindrom kebaruan sama Polyvore ah, please bear with me haha.

1. Cardigan + Short sleeve button shirt - I'm presenting on the 2nd day, so on the 1st day i'm going to be an audience only.

2. Long sleeve button shirt- going to wear it on the presentation day itself. Mau masculine look kunun. Someone ask me to bring a formal coat, just in case.

formal by anollemm featuring thin watches

That's all. Till next polyvore post haha.

Guest blogger: Kim Kardashian wedding invitation

I love Polyvore, and i love you CathJ for having this again! I was unable to join the previous one coz when i saw it, the end time was so near i can only drool other's :D

Kim Kardashian invited you to her wedding.. and as you all know the wedding dress code will be BLACK and WHITE.. you don’t follow the dress code.. you will not allowed to enter to the wedding reception…

So this is it. An invitation to Kim Kardashian wedding, and this is my pick in Polyvore. The dress code is black and white that u've to comply yahh.

I looooove lace and i loooove bodycon. Herve Leger produces nicccceeeeee bodycon dress but i dont see any that i fond of, so i opt for this gorgeous looking lace one shoulder bodycon dress. And a pair of lace peep toe pump oh mai i want that pump.

That's all. See y'all in the wedding! ;)

wedding invitation by kim k by anollemm featuring diamond earrings