Jun 16, 2008

The reason why i cant be sad now!

This post is made for a purpose and only certain people will get the points. When my mum died of cancer 7 years ago, her death is a great grief to us. It was only 2 months after we moved to KK; at times when me and the rest of my siblings trying to fit in into the new place, new school. Can you imagine how chaotic my life was? I dont think you can! After she died, distant families, my aunts, uncles, and the rest blood-related relatives come to us and comforting us in the best way that they can. I am grateful to have that good support system. I was so messed up, was so blank, was so down, and it affects my body badly. The painful is larger than i can handle, i think. All the advices from families only last for 1 sec; i dont think they understand the pain, the advices they gave, sounded so typical. Like skema jawapan, precisely. Thus, when you are dealing with someone who has lost their loved one, dont dare telling them 'I undertand what you've been thru' unless, you have experienced one. We aint stupid ok. So when that's the case, I blocked anyone's advices. That's when i realize, no one can help me but myself. Being a catholic, i find peace in Rosary. It helps me, big time. The 7 days mourning period was great. I somehow, mend myself indirectly with prayers. Though i rarely attend mass (ya, i know preach me now), I am so grateful to be bless in this way. And i believe i am a stronger person ,ever since. If her loss is replace by this new found strength, then all the tears and pains are worth it. She would be proud, i know. 7 years has gone by. The rest is history. I am glad i survived. I have been into the darkest 'abyss', but i survived in the end. When you think you aint got any hope, you are wrong! Oh well, panjang betul. Anyway, save the sympathy to other people who needs it. I'm doing fine.

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