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Aug 2, 2008

Life's Story

I am not judging anyone's life, but this is one of billions life's dilemma that we, probably face near future.
Few days ago i was out with my childhood girlfriends, and to my amazement one of them already engaged. It's not a big thing anyway, since i also have few settle-down-friends and already got kids. Makes me feel really old..huhu My engaged-childhood friend is getting hitch around end of this year, but seems like she's not looking forward to it. To cut the long story short, she feels like she has to marry this guy because he already wasted lots of money on her. I asked her whether she loves him or not, she answered 'yes'. Then i asked her again "so if u do love him, what's with the 'has to' thingy?" Then she comes out with lots of excuses, "he's like this and that" yadda yadda yadda.. But she also reveals she cheated on him and caught red handed. Dalam hati i was like suda la menipu, then dare to cakap macam2 lagi..as if you are that saint. It's bad of me to say things like that to a friend, but hey, if i am not her friend i would still say things like this to her. Eventually we ask her the ultimate question "Your fiance, in which u claimed he is like this and that,is going to be ur husband in few months. And you have cheated on him once. Would you carry on with the marriage?" And she answers "I have to because he already wasted lots of money on me." Fishy. So if you are her fiance, would you marry her? I personally think she must has been messed up with her feelings. From the long conversation that we had that day, i cant determine whether it is love that she feels or the perasaan terhutang budi with the fiance. It's normal la for a guy to spend some amount of $$ on his gf/fiance but from what she told, her fiance must love my friend so damn gila babeng until he asked her to take care of his bank acc, and give most of his salary to her. I wonder why she has heart to cheat on him somemore. At last i can only say to her 'All the best in anything that you think is worth to do la' I'm telling this story for obvious reason. That is why, us,the females, should have good education, good career so that we dont rely on man to do/have things that we can do/have independently. It's a cliche, but still, lots of people dont get it. I think all women,regardless of their status should behave like a single woman; taking fully charge of their life.
Sexy survivors

7 comments:

Wel^Beiolman said...

emm...if I were that man..I would not marry her or continue with the marriage plan...she is not honest with the term 'love' here...its just an excuse for her as if she already knew that if she didn't marry this man..she would not happen to meet another great guy afterwards...its a fact that people tend to be in a safer zone instead of risky situation...she loves that man yet still giving a thought or an excuse of "has to" is not honest at all..the man accepted her although she had cheated on him and still..vague statement if she accepted him as for what he is...then why she comes out with "he this and that..." she shouldn't have said "yes' to the marriage plan/proposal...when we think about it.. having an educated and careered woman or having someone who doesn't have that all does make a different but having someone over the man could cause another problem in the long run...things like this must be made clear at the early stage prior to any marriage...and still women having a successful career is something that most men afraid of..conservative mind..I would suggest she think about the marriage more and over...she could be a good wife once married but could she loves him and accepted him for in the long run..and of course she would accept the money given to her..the man has given up his acct bank and most of his salary is not too common these days...he already thought about it over and over then decided she's the love of my life...he sold his soul to the lady...I'm afraid the aftermath would cause a big problem to that man...a man heart is not as solid as rock/steel as many women thought about..men's heart is fragile as women..

Mell said...

Ya,she's totally not being honest to herself and her fiance. I have bad feeling about the marriage too but it's too late to undo everything.

Definitely her fiance is blinded by love,emotions defeats his sanity. I would never want to marry a guy in that condition.

So as a shield to any problems that might arise,i hope she'll get her own job before kawin (or buat prenup agreement..heh :p)

maslight said...

I dun get it. Going through this post I still can't seem to find the reason why she want to proceed with the marriage. I mean "he spend so much money on me" isn't a reason, it's an excuse to feeling guilty? It won't bring happiness to both well in my opinion la. But hey, who am I to judge, it's her life, it's up to her to live her life rite.

All you could do as a fren is to just support them and be there for them when in need.

*hugs dun @_@ kan urself with all that..uh oh...and wut's up with dat dood giving her his account for?! @_@ gewdness

Mell said...

massy: throughout the long hours of conversation pun, i still cant even figure out if it's really love/guilt that she feels towards him. That's what happen when ppl suka men-confuse-kan diri sendiri. Other ppl pun get confused.

urang ranau said...

from the point prespective of a lady, if i were in her shoes..i would not carry on with the wedding, as i hv already cheated on him (as per story) I don't want to life with him and at the same time feel guilty for cheating on him before..i don't think it's love mel...i think its guilt. The relationship would not survive and infact it was doomed right fr the time the girl cheated on him...

ReNo said...

Hmmm...I also don't get it. Y in heaven she still want to carry on with the marriage if she opss..she said 'yes, I love this man'?. Gila! The way she talk macam she can't be honest to him so what is this marriage for? Lagi pula if she really love him, y money become one of the reasons? ayak poor the guy la. mell kastau dia she going to ruin a life of another 'true man' by keep 'curi2 makan' on his behind. bagus dia kasi sama perempuan lain yang betul2 menghargai dia... like Wel mention earlier, kurang2 sudah laki macam tu ow sekarang ni (kecuali dia, si wel ma saya hehe)some more, been caught red handed before? OMG... nasib baik laki tu bukan si ReNo atau si Wel. so pls, advice her, if she cannot be a good and loyal wife to this man, y not pigi la kawin sama laki yg dia bercurang tu...isskk na kan! geram sudah sy ni...sabar jelah..heh

hornbill said...

Ko tua ka mel? sa lagi tua owh...

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