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Sep 14, 2008

My personal experience with FRIENDS

Friends, they are of many types. So let me tell you the types of friends that i've befriend with, and do tell me if you've encountered one. Friend no 1.
She used to be my room mate back in Labuan. We were so close, my bed was just adjacent to hers, we studied together, we even made code names for the couples in the college, by all means, she's my girlfriend and that was what i am to her, back then.
After the life in kml, we follow the diferrent paths, the paths that have been destined for us. She went to WM to pursue her study, and i'm back to KK, and stay in UMS terchenta. Since that, i havent get a single sms/call from her anymore, and i did sms, just to catch up with her, but so jarang la the sms kena reply. And i, not an emo by nature, move on. In return, i have lots of new friends in uni.
After 4+ years, which is exactly now, i've received her sms-es, asking about my life now etc etc. I am so delighted upon receiving the sms-es, i truly am. Until yesterday, she posted 'something' in her FS shout out, which leaves me nothing but the fishy feeling. So i dig around, and based on the comments in her FS, i get to know that she steals her bestfriend's boyfriend. So by human nature, the bestfriend is so furious hence ended their relationship but she's not the only one. The other friends (aka the bestfriend's supporters), follow the same action and she's all by herself now. I personally think the rampas merampas issue is not my business, so hands off that matter. Either it is true or not, i hope she'll get through. The only thing that makes me wonder is, if her friends still befriended her till now, will she ever care to send me sms/call me? I feel like, a spare part to a cheating boyfriend. Truth hurts. Nevermind. Friend no 2.
They are my long lost friends. The 'long' term is precisely define as 2-3 years. They never sms/call , but one shit day, they sms-ed me and as usual the mukadimah would be 'how are you', where are you now' etc etc, then next would be 'sebenarnya saya ada masalah kewangan bah ni, saya mau pinjam duit, bulan depan baru saya bayar ah'. Very straight and shameless. They have friends over there, and they can simply ask them what, why bother to buang duit sms to me, and ask to spare some $$ for them. Crazy. And i, as they know are so soft hearted but i'm not stupid. You can tell whether i give them the $$ or not. I always believe that once i give them, there'll always be the 2nd time. There's no way i would let it happen.
Friend no 3.
This type hurts me the most. During my 1st year in uni, i am so naive. Every time my coursemates want to copy my notes/ copy my tutorial's answer, i'll give them. And every time the test is about to be conduct, the lecturer will give hints for the questions. At the end of the class, they asked for the hints, which puzzled me 'they did attend the class, but how come they do not take note of that?'. Weird. In short, i never fail to share what i have with them. Until one day, i saw this one particular friend is solving a past year's question which makes me so hairan, how come they didnt even think of sparing 1 copy for me, they know i'd be happy to solve it and share with them. Then i ask, "mana ko dapat ni?" , she said "alah, kami ngam2 sj potostat ni,nti la ko potostat lagi ah". When i asked for the paper the next day, they come up with lots of excuses, as if they dont want me to get one. Shit. It did hurts me. I never try to ask from other coursemates because belum biasa lagi dengan dorang, and i'd be terribly hurt if they give the same lame excuses like my friends did. There were so many occasions lagi prior to that, but this past year's question thingy is the turning point. I blame it all on my naive-ness. How could i think i would get the same thing in return by helping them in the best way i can. From that onwards, i'm trying to think as real as i can. I only mix with them during happy hour time, and pasal notes/tutorials, berusaha la sendiri. They did sense me being so lokek with notes, and i know they did talk at my back and try to pulaukan me. I dont care and i never give a fuss. At least, after 4 years, my cgpa is the highest among the bumiputras in the course. Enough to shut their mouths up. Conclusively, i believe the saying that goes " everything happens for a reason". I never blame them, well actually i did few times sengihnampakgigi. In my clear state of mind, i now thank them for giving me these life lessons, though it came in a tough ways. And i will try my best being a good friend to myself and to others.

19 comments:

urang ranau said...

no.1 type of friend is not worth ur 20cent..sudah teda kawan br mo cari ko..no.2 type pula time susah br mo cari. no.3 type of friend, lebih suka menerima dr memberi..take things for granted and tdk tau membalas jasa punya urg..apa2 pun semua tetap kawan. (tp mcm telur juga, buli kasi grade A,B,C)..kwn2 spti yg tertera di atas..sia bagi telur ayam grade C ;)

Wel^Beiolman said...

F1 - "I feel like, a spare part to a cheating boyfriend. "..interesting..huhu...I know how it feels...just a clarification..rampas di rampas is not an issue as long as it happens naturally...I assume in your case it happened intentionally la ni kan..then it'll be rampas..but if nature permits...then we have to accept the fact..people change especially their feeling...

F2 - common type la ni..I had one time..I befriend with a lady in my FS..I knew her through FS and have never met or talked to her..but we had sms'ing each other stuff like online business opportunity...one fine day, she sms'ed me asking for help ($$)..I'm so kind and I had a quite decent of amount in my saving..duit free came from online business...so I gave her and helped her..she paid me back as promised...but its true that there's a 2nd time..haha..for a friends that you've known and met...I don't think it'll hurt if you have the money but I would have to know the reason and he/she needs to pay on the day/date that been promised..if delay or I have to chase for it..sorry friend! no next time...

F3 - Star-fish ka atau selfish ni..they're totally selfish tahap mau mampus la..but it's not their fault jg..uni life sometimes very tough also..especially for those that very shy..haha..

I've met them all....it made my life full of colour and experience..life is beautiful but it could be a disaster...damn it...

Mell_f said...

urang ranau: haha..sy suka ni sistem gred macam telul. Sebidak2 sikap dorang,masih jg sy kawan sama drg,pasrah la kenen.

wel: ya,ppl do change but i hardly believe it bah. nda ku sangka betul (nah,ni ayat begini femes ni di LD/Tawau/Sdk). As i said,it none of my business,so hands off that matter le.

Nda sama ba kes kita wel. Begitu lama nda belkontek, bila kontek terus mau minta duit ba. Apa punya kawan tu begitu? Sy yg jauh di Sabah dia minta tolong,padahal ramai kawan semenanjung dia yg dia selalu bawa enjoy,bukan dia p minta tulung pula. hmpphh..

Kalau selfish,biar la..but bila nda dikasi note,mau mengumpat ba. Sy pasrah sj la.

Mmg semua org akan merasa la kehadiran kawan begini dlm idup masing2. We move on sj.

Wel^Beiolman said...

we move on and better we had it earlier than later kan..so we knew who's worth to befriend with and who's not..for me..money is money..once said "pinjam"..I'll remember it sampai bila2..haha..kejam but good for us..

"nda ku sanga eh!" bukan mcm ni ka tu mell..hahahaa...

whateverpun we label them..still we're just human and we need them for the better us....sometimes it annoys us but life is full of surprise...lots of people we meet..still we have to have our own stand to life through the day/night..

jan sedih mell..orang bilang karma ba tu sometimes..hehe..

Beck the BandagedKnee said...

O damn~ I almost missed this one~ I mean this is a great topic my friend~ hmmm.. almost sounds like me~ i mean~ :P hmm perhaps zi know hehe.. ^.^ i mean O_O" okay~ zi we know someone.. alike.. O_O"" >_> if u ever remember laa if now.. hehe.. forget it.. anyway~

YES it hurt! i mean YES OFCOURSE it DOES HURT! the word that we known; "trust" is betrayed!! and yeah~ I wonder how is she gonna live up with hurting their own besties!? wtf? okay~ none of my business to feel pissed in here~ but.. whoa~ wtf..? i think the guy also doing his part here so.. there r 2 pple betraying one person which is the "ex girl" (ofcourse)~ n its obvious~ both r lame~ i hav no other strong words to support my comments but hell I HATE THIS TYPE OF PERSON~ Mell, serious it hurt! even its not us but.. hmm idk i juz cant cope with pple like this.. there r lots of pple alike actually n hmm gotta leave it behind coz i need to comment more.. LOL

... okay i think it gonna take long if i comment separately i mean from paragraph 1, 2,3... :D so to make it short~ type 2 n 3 is almost familiar~ i dun really xp it but i seen it around coz some of my friends is dealing wif it while im around n i was thinking n wondering to myself... "wtf!!??" (not really xp it myself.. but hav other shit alike~ doh! -_-"~ maybe coz im not into getting close wif some pple coz i hate to feel hurt.. :P even friendship make me down sometimes.. no comment on that.. LOL so~ erk.. O_o" (now wat am i trying to state in here aaa..? O_o")

okay i guess we hav some similarity but ofcourse not all of em~ was feeling shit like those n.. :P thats y my poem http://bandagedknee-beck.blogspot.com/2008/04/no-more-politeness.html...was composed.. LOL hmm anyway great topic! :D

2 thumbs up! I love ur flaming anger! :D its so real!

Andrik McVean said...

LOL...siok pula cerita ko nie pasal kawan2 ko. Hahahaha..sia pun ada pengalaman juga cam nie kawan rapat sia curi duit sia guna ATM. I blamed myself because trust him so much until i did not realize he withdrawed my money from ATM masa sia tengah tidur...until now he is no longer my friend.

Tal said...

Mell..sy faham perasaan ko abt number 1 and 2. No 1, thank god sy nda pernah mengalami, palis2..but no 2 sangat2 ramai la kan di dunia ni. Iya, bagus kalau sms after 3-4 years to say hi ka, bwa mkn ka, jemput p majlis perkahwinan ka..ni sms utk minta pinjam duit. Sgtla membikin panas-kan..

Oh well..like you said, kita move on, and take it as a well learnt lesson, kan? hehe...and btw, congrats on your cgpa. ;) I've noticed that some people paling nda suka tgk klu kwn dia berjaya...dorang mesti mo pull down punya...ya, speaking from experience ni...so, nda heranla that you got kawan yang macam tu. :)

Iya, no monday blues ni..nda sabar mo cuti adalah..hahaha! yea yea..tomorrow holiday...
Btw Mell..tu word verification ko bikin panas ohh...makin panjang ni words dia bagi sy...

Mell_f said...

wel: yep,i do believe in karma. kotoh la dorang kalau tkena balik.

beck: seriously,i do agree with not being too close to anyone to avoid being hurt. Bagus lagi rapat sama kusing sia. Bole dipercayai lagi.

andrik: adui,jahat jg kawan begitu tu..pencuri betul! Time di labuan ada kawan sy mcm tu,yg suka suruh org ithdraw $$ dr atm,bagi lagi pin no,but nasib la teda apa2 jadi. Ngam laitu andrik, x payah la kawan sama org yg x bole kena pcaya.

tal: tu la,bgitu ramai kawan berenjoy dia sana sjung,yg sy ni jg dia pegi minta. bila nda kena kasi tu $$,mau avoid org dalam FS..ceh,paduli la dia sana.

Mmg ramai tu yg sanggup bikin mcm2 kerana jeles pasal kejayaan org,tmasuk tapuk notes yg ptt di bagi, past year paper kena tapuk2..sedih hati ku,terasa betul sy.

Yg pasal tu word verification,sy nda bole buat apa2 ni.LOL. kalau pjg ok lagi,tapi ada yg susah ni mau baca, terutamnya bila double V, mcm W pun ada jg. haha

sweetie~ said...

flying kick smua tu kawan yg begitu....not even worth to call them frens ba....biar la teda kwn dari kawan yg ada udang d sebalik mee...kekeke

Chris AngelicDemon said...

I've been through F2 and F3.
Yg F2 tu lebih kurang ja cerita macam ko punya.

My F3 lebih sadis... I have this open policy of sharing whatever resources I have with my coursemates (sometimes even distributing the alpha-version of the assignments). One time we were doing a programming assignment (Virtual Reality) and since one of my closest friend was clueless about how to do the assignment (due the next day), I shared my program code with him. Imagine to my absolute shock when I found out that he submitted the EXACT copy of my program VERY early the next morning which forced me to make some last-minute changes to mine...
Huh! :-(
We're still friends but I'd never let him see any assignments of mine after that.

defoo said...

Can I be your boyfriend?

Hahaha!! Matilah kana baca bf si Mell ^_^

After reading your post sy dpt nilai ko ni org mcmn, which I think ada some similarity with someone I know, and which is good. Well I'm not judging you tau, cuma biasalah after reading sumones writing, we tend to know the personality of the writer.

I have a thing that I like to do when people try to bring me down - I'll do the silent counter.

^_^ Long live the spirit of BBKK!! Woohoo!!!!!! Woohoo!!! HoooWoo!!!

hehehe...

Zi said...

uiks.. tiba2 ada nama sa ..

beck... sa rasa sa tau... :D

Zi said...

Indeed , I met lotta ppl like this.

I often didn't say much but I did really make sure which one can be trust and which one not.
can be trust i will campur more, cant be trust i will just say hi and bye.
:D

Probably , i am not the friendly type. :P

Mell_f said...

sweetie: initially,they are good but somehow, they get change by time,tu la yg jadi. pasrah ja la kan.

Chris: The act was too much. pfft..there were similar cases happened to my friends too,they did exactly like urs. Hm..

defoo: i can put you in the list. LOL.

Kadus_Mama said...

Those so 'called' friend yang tiba2 pandai mencari kita..sekalinya minta pinjam duit jak..memang bikin panas..i blogged about it last month...memang bikin panas eh!!
That kind of friends don't deserved to be called friends at all..
Aiseh..marah nie..heheheee

Wel^Beiolman said...

whatever they are...I will still help or be friend with them...unless they hv no valid reason at all to betray the relationship..once a friend will always be friend..that's me...gaduh or rampas or pinjam duit..still..they're the people that made ur life more meaningful...

ArMs said...

Hmmm... Up til now I still am in good contact with my best friends (All guys ar keeke). So I must be thankful la. Semua pun good boy ni heehe.

But me also got situation macam kawan kedua tu. Kin panas tau. Yang suddenly pandai contact ni padahal mo pinjam duit. Bagus kalo emergency betul2, ini yang mo buat business la, repair motor la... entahla. Yang penting, me tda mo kasi pinjam. Ingat cya urang kaya ka boss haaha...

Friend yang ketiga tu pun banyak tu... but again bagusla I don't have that type of luki friends in my program. Prog lain ada la macam tu. Kin panas tau;D

Ornest said...

Uiks... mana kawan2 ko yg baik hati pya ni Mell?? Bikin sakit hati ja semua tu :D I've never experience #1 and #2 tapi yg #3 tu pernah.. mmg kurang ajar tu dorang tp sdh berlalu gia.. sya ndak juga simpan dlm hati. Skrg klu terjumpa dorg balik, masih kawan2 juga :D Bulih bw pi makan bun panas lagi :D

duapulolapansen said...

best tul ur post on friends...i've meet ramai friends that are not so friend..i dun like it.

care to exchange link?

http://izietx.blogspot.com

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